One-Minute Melee: Gaston VS The King
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: As the King of Hyrule is about to enjoy himself, Gaston comes with a mob and starts to fight him. Will this fight lead anywhere, or will it be just random goodness! Based off YouTube Poops and Hyper Gauge's One-Minute Melees!
DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Beauty and the Beast, which belongs to Disney/a French author known as Marie Leprince de Beaumont, or Legend of Zelda, which belongs to Nintendo! All other cameos belongs to their respective creators! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which NOW belongs to Hyper Gauge!

Okay, just as a warning, this is going to be a bit of a weird One Minute Melee... first of all, this is also going to be parodying the YouTube Poops... along with that, it's also going to be almost like Waxonator/Waxination's Poops, you know, before he retired from YouTube Poops altogether. I'm personally excited for this one, so hope you all enjoy this! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **1 Minute Melee!  
Where even locking eyes on someone will force them to fight!  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! And MAYBE one victor!**

 ** _GO!_**

* * *

 _"Every last inch of WAX-O-NATOR'S covered with-"_

 **"Poops."**

* * *

 **(The King's Castle)**

One bright day, at the king's castle, Princess Zelda was happily sighing as she was on the balcony, humming and singing happily to herself about whistling while she was working. Unfortunately, her father, known as the King of Hyrule, was sipping on his cup when he looked up.

"Zelda! ENOUGH!" The king said as he threw a grenade at her and it exploded, causing her to fall off the roof.

"Gee, it sure is- 'OH BOY'- around here." Link said, doing his usual lazy eye expressions.

"MAH BOI, scrub all the floors in Hyrule! I- MUST- be getting 'dinner'!" The King ordered the lazy eyed Link as he smiled in excitement.

"Oh boy! I'm a boy!" Link said as he started to get going.

"Ah... peace and quie-" The King started before hearing an angry mob at his door.

"KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST!" The mob shouted from outside as the King walked out to see what the commotion was about.

Much to the King's surprise, he saw about a lot of people mobbing around his castle, and they seemed really, REALLY mad.

"OOOOOOHHHH, shit!" The King said in shock.

"Won mirrion troops." A rocker said right next to him.

The King could just stare in utter shock.

"Wowwww..." The rocker said as the leader of the mob was making his way.

"Everyone, here is the beast you are after! For taxing us, it is time to kill the beast!" The man, with a surly chin, red hunting clothes, black pants and black boots announced as he pointed up towards the castle.

The King just looked flabbergasted as he was wondering what was going on. But he had no time to think as Gaston pulled out a torch and threw it to a pile of barrels, which exploded upon impact and blasted Gaston up to the sky as Gaston did a Goofy holler.

The King looked up in confusion, wondering what was going on... until Gaston landed in front of him.

"What is this?" The King asked.

"King, you are going down once and for all!" Gaston shouted as he aimed a bow and arrow at him.

The King frowned as he knew he would have to fight. It looked like he didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

 **'CAUSE YOUTUBE IS WHERE THE POOP IS!  
FI-FI-FI-FI-FI-FIGHT!**

 **('MAMA LUIGI' Seconds)**

Gaston then pulled out a stake as he was ready to strike the King with it... but the King proved to be a faster, agile fighter than most people would take credit for. Thanks to some custom animations and edits that most YouTube Poopers would put the King through, he managed to pull out a sword of his own to clash with Gaston's stick.

Gaston frowned as he and the King started circling around each other, wanting to make a strike, but the King dodged the stick as he swung his sword over at Gaston as Gaston jumped back. Gaston then pulled out his bow and arrows as he started shooting straight at him.

The King hummed a bit before somehow pulling out a flamethrower as he said, in a very deep voice, "FIRED UP!"

 **('I'MA FIRIN' MAH LAZER' Seconds)**

The King then used the flamethrower to melt down the arrows as they all started to fall down. Gaston frowned as he circled around the king, firing more arrows as the time went on. The King then ran, flamethrower in hand as he frowned.

"ENOUGH! This is what ALL true warriors strive for!" The King frowned as he punched Gaston in the face.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUAH!" Gaston sang as he merely stumbled towards the edge of the building. "This is 'madness'!"

"Madness? Madness! I'll show you 'madness'!" The King said as he raised his foot.

 **('THIS... IS... SPARTA!' Seconds)**

The King then kicked Gaston down, but not before Gaston grabbed the King's foot and took him down with it as they started to fall.

A lot of the people gathering around were starting to separate in different areas as the two of them landed on the ground. And with that, they continued the fighting.

Judge Frollo, looking towards the fight, was reading a scroll as he said, "The sentence is Death!"

Judge Frollo then yelped as yet another torch slammed him in the face, causing him to fall down.

The King then started to use eye lasers as Link and Gwonam appeared in Gwonam's magic carpet.

"Your Majesty..." Gwonam started as Link jumped off and activated the Stargate right next to them.

But the King and Gaston ignored the guy on the flying carpet as they both fell straight into the Stargate, still punching each other's lights out.

 **('GAY LUIGI' Seconds)**

In space, in the new Death Star, Darth Vader was looking over new plans when all of a sudden, he noticed a portal opening. "Hm?"

Two characters, AKA Gaston and the King, slammed down and broke Darth Vader as he screamed, "NOOOOOO!"

As the two landed, Gaston frowned as he started punching every control there was, trying to hit the King.

"Did you honestly think you can tax me, when you can tax someone like you!" Gaston yelled, going crazy.

"Enough, I'm gonna cut you to bits!" The King announced as he kicked another control panel, causing lights to blink and sirens to go off.

 **('IT'S A TRAP!' Seconds)**

Gaston then pulled out his gun as he tried to shoot the King, but the King turned out to be pretty nimble, even for his age. The King then dove into another activated Stargate as Gaston chased after him, leaving Darth Vader behind, looking around at a Death Star that was about to explode.

"...Crap." Darth Vader muttered as the Death Star suddenly exploded.

Back to the main battle field, Gaston and the King appeared back on the field as the King looked tired, but he wasn't going to give up.

"Give up, King! I am going to win!" Gaston frowned.

"Not unless I get pickled beets for dinner!" The King frowned.

"THAT IS IT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!" An angry voice called from a distance as someone else jumped in.

 **('A-CHUCK A-NORRIS!' Seconds)**

That mysterious person then suddenly grabbed Gaston and the King as the two of them looked in confusion, wondering what was happening as they were being taken to the air.

Gaston tried to look at his captor, but he couldn't quite see him that good... and unfortunately, neither could the King as they kept flying up towards the air and right into space.

 **('PINGAS!'...)**

Once the two and their captor got up into space, the captor turned around and started descending down fast.

 **('HEADSHOT!'...)**

Both Gaston and the King looked down towards the ground, knowing that either way, this probably wouldn't end well.

 **('TOAST!'...)**

The King already went ahead and shut his eyes, knowing what was going to happen.

 **('SPAGHETTI!'** **...)**

"Let me go! Let me go! Please!" Gaston was begging for mercy from his captor, trying to let go.

 **('FINISH HIM!'...)**

"Sure." The captor said as all three of them crashed into the ground.

 _ **DOUBLE KO!**_

When the dust cleared, everyone was gathered around, wondering who had won the battle. Who would come out on top of this?

But then... a majestic robe appeared. Was it the King who won?

To their surprise, it wasn't. The King was tossed in front of the audience. Then they thought Gaston won... but unfortunately, he was knocked out as well as his body was tossed over. They all looked up to see who had won the battle... and to their surprise, it was none other than...

"Let's see who's over nine thousand now, punks!" Vegeta frowned, glaring at the two downed contestants. He then looked up and frowned. "Well, what are you waiting for, this isn't a match! GO HOME!"

Everyone shuddered as they started to run away from Vegeta as quickly as they can. Vegeta gave a satisfied smirk, knowing that he was indeed the victor of this match. And now to get home to train his family...

 **This melee's winner is...**

 ** _VEGETA_**

* * *

Curly Gammelthorpe, Bucky Katt and Pudding Fong just sat down in shock at the computer as Bucky was squinting at it.

"Okay, what the heck did we just read?" Bucky asked.

"It was obviously a One-Minute Melee, but... it was different somehow." Curly pointed out.

"Not to mention that it looked odd." Pudding said. "You don't think the writer's taking inspiration from YouTube Poops, is he?"

"Maybe it's just for this battle." Bucky assured him. "I'm sure the author's going to go back to more serious battles after this."

"For our sake, we better hope so." Curly said. "I don't know if I can take THIS much randomness in one setting."

"Seriously, if we wanted to read or watch YouTube Poop, we'd watch Waxination's old YouTube Poops." Pudding frowned.

Bucky sighed. "Yeah... but I'm sure this is just a one time thing. Come on, let's just relax for a while."

"Agreed!" Curly and Pudding nodded as the three started to go off to relax.

* * *

 _ **NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 2 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE...**_

 _ **There is no doubt that smarts can be matched, but what happens when even smarts can go a long way?**_

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And another One-Minute Melee match is done and out! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! By the way, a more serious fight will happen next time, I just wanted to see if I can translate a YouTube Poop like battle for a One-Minute Melee! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


End file.
